June 17th, 1998......................Hump Day--Keep Your Legs Protected
A Nation of Fat-Asses
The Government recently released a new standard for determining a "healthy" weight for Americans called the Body Mass Index, or BMI. Essentially, it is an equation which determines that anyone over their 6th grade weight, assuming you were skinny then, is fat. 50% of Americans are now overweight, including NBA star Karl Malone, and Olympic ski legend Pekabo Street. As for myself, I am not just a few pounds overweight anymore... I am a governmentally branded fat ass.
Now, I can admit when I'm overweight, and right now, at 6'1" and 210 pounds, I am a few pounds overweight. I'm muscular enough, but yeah, I know a beer belly when I grow one. My BMI is now 28, which is considered overweight... if I hit 30, I would have been officially OBESE... which would have entitled me to appear on many talk shows as a pathetic fat ass. But being just your average American fat ass, no such luck.
Apparently, the government studied people in Japan, Ethiopia, and Somalia, and determined that these were the really healthy people... I can only say this because, according to the government, my ideal weight is supposed to be somewhere around dorky adolescent geek, or Karen Carpenter bony. The "ideal" weight number I should have hit was supposed to be from 19 - 25. Well, sure.... why not? I could hit 25 if I dropped my weight down to 185, or somewhere around when I was a junior in high school and playing on two different athletic teams. But heck, I want to be REALLY healthy... So I'm going for the 19... which would put my weight at 140 lbs.... 140 POUNDS... The day I'm 6'1" and 140 pounds is the day I'm dying from leprosy, because I've obviously dropped off a fucking LEG somewhere along the route.
If I ever saw someone that was 6'1" and 140 pounds I'd be positive they had AIDS and were on the downside of the disease. If you're 5'2" you can be 135 pounds and still get a 25. But add nearly a foot and to get a 19 you can only have an extra 5 pounds? Jesus Christ... This is obviously a result of the Chinese influence on our government designed to produce a nation of starving, despondent, anorexics that will vote along vegetarian lines and have no strength to resist the coming Communist incursion.
To the government who claims that I must lose 70 pounds to get healthy, despite the fact that my doctor says I'm fine, that I can bench press 300 pounds for reps, that I can climb on a Stair Master for an hour at level 10, that I can leg press 1000 pounds, I calmly wave my genitals at the flag and urinate on it, shouting Fuck You! But that's just me.
Quote of the Day:
Remember that kid in grade school that turned his eyelids inside out for laughs? I bet he's pretty much a loser now, too.